It's definitely not a dry period of a plateau. I tried to keep the explanation brief, but it was more about taking a wrong turn very early on, needing to extract myself from it, finding the right way to go, and finding that I can't just pick up where I left off for some reason.
The part that sticks out right away is the first rune (after the edit that is, making me curious what prompted the change). My life situation was a gift from some god, a result of their direct interference, nothing I prayed for but a spontaneous act on their part; there is some reason to think, in spite of all the mistakes I made previously and all the dysfunction right now, the situation is actively being maintained. If and when this current trouble clears itself out, I would have the ability to focus on religion full time, like a hermit or a monk. That seems to be a highly unusual situation in the modern West, if I managed to get it I must be supposed to use it for something.
As for the rest of it. Keeping at work and duty might well be the solution, but the problem is that I have no idea what that work actually is. Probably something vaguely magical, since synchronicity brought me to JMG's sphere, but my attempts at combining some form of practice with some deity names/pantheons has not worked out yet. I haven't tried the Heathen Golden Dawn yet, but it's been hovering on my lift (by the way, thanks for picking the project up. Even if I never end up using it myself, being able to watch how a training program gets built is fascinating enough).
About joy, that's not the first time I've heard something to that effect, but easier said than done. No doubt, joy's absence is a big part of the problem that needs to be addressed.
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The part that sticks out right away is the first rune (after the edit that is, making me curious what prompted the change). My life situation was a gift from some god, a result of their direct interference, nothing I prayed for but a spontaneous act on their part; there is some reason to think, in spite of all the mistakes I made previously and all the dysfunction right now, the situation is actively being maintained. If and when this current trouble clears itself out, I would have the ability to focus on religion full time, like a hermit or a monk. That seems to be a highly unusual situation in the modern West, if I managed to get it I must be supposed to use it for something.
As for the rest of it. Keeping at work and duty might well be the solution, but the problem is that I have no idea what that work actually is. Probably something vaguely magical, since synchronicity brought me to JMG's sphere, but my attempts at combining some form of practice with some deity names/pantheons has not worked out yet. I haven't tried the Heathen Golden Dawn yet, but it's been hovering on my lift (by the way, thanks for picking the project up. Even if I never end up using it myself, being able to watch how a training program gets built is fascinating enough).
About joy, that's not the first time I've heard something to that effect, but easier said than done. No doubt, joy's absence is a big part of the problem that needs to be addressed.
Thank you for this, I will keep thinking on it.